The advertising campaign with girls showing how they run, throw, fight “like a girl” resonated with me. The ad demonstrated that girls saw themselves as strong and confident, while boys portrayed them as weak or frail. The research prepared by the agency responsible for the “Like a Girl” campaign found that 72% of adolescent girls feel held back by society.
I was blessed with an older brother who saw me as strong and capable. He taught me how to play basketball, football and softball. Whenever we played in neighborhood “pick-up” games, he would throw the football or pass the basketball to me without fail. If a boy said, “She’s just a girl.” My brother would always respond, “She’s really good. Just watch.”
As an adolescent, I played “pick-up games” knowing that I could contribute. During the football huddles, my brother would suggest, “They are not guarding Eunice, I’m going to throw it to her.” He would make me practice my bank shots in basketball saying, “You just have to make one consistent shot time and time again.” It was my brother who would pass the basketball to me and yell, ”Shoot!” I always felt like a valuable part of a team because my brother championed me.
So I entered a male-dominated profession feeling comfortable. Yet, the people in law are different. Instead of celebrating my unique qualities as a woman, I felt like I had to downplay my strengths. “Black, blue or brown suits are professional colors.” “Low heels are more elegant.” “Focus on your brilliant mind, your research and writing skills.” There was the constant pressure to defer to a partner. Even though I wanted to be “first chair” at Trial, I would only and always be “second chair”.
I became very bland. I worked countless hours. I ate due to stress. I didn’t exercise. I was unhappy. As an adolescent, I didn’t feel held back by society, but as an attorney, I felt it sharply in my very bones. So I began to assert myself. I asked if I could do “pro bono” work. I spoke up if I had a different idea. I made detailed demands backed by solid research. The partners’ comments were, “You changed.”
By becoming more authentic with the partners . . . I found myself. I am so grateful for my brother, who championed me because I knew something was wrong deep down. My journey is just beginning, but I practice law “like a girl” and I am badass.
