I was taught to be submissive. I was told to be quiet, not to talk back and if I had a different idea, to keep it to myself. I remember once being asked,"Why do you need to go to law school? You can just find a good husband." It was against this backdrop that I was raised. I grappled with the stereotypes discussed in “The Feminine Mystique” by Betty Friedan. I fought against it and listened to my inner voice. But . . . it was lonely growing up being called "stubborn" because I refused to fit into "their" mold.

Recently, I represented a client who was a victim of assault. I listened to her story without judgment. She was valiant because she fought back. Nevertheless, she was blamed for her actions and her personal character was criticized.

After reading the police report, the CAD report and her hospital records, the overarching theme was that she was involved in an unfair fight. I realized how traumatic the event was for her and immediately recommended that she seek treatment and counseling. Her doctor was able to diagnose her with a medical condition which explained her behavior.

We negotiated a favorable settlement and the client was pleased. With tears in her eyes, she explained that no one listened to her or even considered that she was a victim. In fact, the actions of everyone around her seemed to favor and protect the assailant. She didn't feel like she was heard.

Because it hurts to be "passive" and it's painful to watch the "aggressor" take advantage of the situation without a fight. I celebrated my client's courage. I recognized and honored her bravery. During the settlement discussions, I explained her feelings, discussed how she was badly mistreated and produced evidence of her physical and emotional injuries. As a result, we were able to obtain a fair settlement.

Looking back, I am grateful for my childhood experiences.